This is a peak into my life. I need a place to deposit my thoughts and feelings where no-one really knows me.  My friends get a live encounter and explanation of it all, but I still need a place where I can go off on random shit, and know that they aren't going to laugh at me. So know that if you are reading this, that it is your own choice. That everything on this page is either a thought of my own, or some other piece of literature or art that has somehow brought forth emotion from me.  Seeing as that I am a fairly emotional person, there should be a lot on here. I'm a fairly open person, closing up only on things that I can't handle myself. There are a few traumatic events in my life, nothing super major. Nothing I didn't survive. My life is pretty typical. I'm a 19 year old girl, desperately wanting to be out of my parents house. And so close to doing so. I went away one year to college. And it wasn't for me. I couldn't make it there. And I'm going to try a different route in life. Definitely taking a  year off to figure myself out. Working, becoming independent. And not a toy for my mother. As I have been most of my life. I know that I can do it. With a little support from friends, that's all that I really need. And I have the right friends to get that support from. They are all a year or two older, and have already moved out on their own, and have promised me all the support that I need. So here I go, on my own. And with that I wrap up my first entry. Peace~~ Nicole